One of life's greatest wonders is when what you aspire to, desire, and admire slowly becomes your reality. Our minds are capable of wandering far beyond what our eyes can see. We imagine, visualize, and dream beyond the boundaries of our limitations and perceptions.
What we admire often reflects the way we have been uniquely wired and one's free will to choose. What I find beautiful may not be beautiful to you. What brings me joy may not bring you the same delight. Much of this is shaped by our preferences, discernment, and the gift of free will. And when we become clear about the direction of our lives, our desires naturally begin to unfold but not without a cost.
Photo by Cy Custodio
The cost is hidden work. It is found in the countless unseen hours spent pursuing what we long for. Sometimes, that pursuit can even border on obsession.
"Obsession arises when desires are continually fed by what we consume until eventually, those desires begin to consume us. Its effects reach beyond the external; they shape the internal landscape of the soul. Through small and seemingly insignificant choices repeated daily, our desires begin to influence our words, actions, and thought patterns. They become habits. They become routines. They quietly settle into our subconscious."
And when left unchecked, obsession can slowly give birth to delusion. I have experienced moments when I became so fixated on a particular desire that I made impulsive decisions without taking the time to sit in silence, reflect, and seek the Lord.
Delusion can feel euphoric because it lives in the realm of imagination, but reality has a way of exposing how little control we actually possess. In obsessing over a pursuit, we can become blind to what reality and God is trying to reveal.
Yet there is a kind of passion that is good for the soul. It is one that is continually surrendered, examined, and brought before God. It is a sanctified desire that loosens our grip on control, dominance, and self-will. There is nothing wrong with imagining possibilities or dreaming of what could be, but those dreams must remain submitted to the One who already knows the beginning and the end of our story.
Photo taken by Cy Custodio, with his wife Giya, during one of her bridal fittings.
If God has already written my story from beginning to end, why should I still desire, plan, and act? If He has prepared a path for me, how can I remain faithful in my daily pursuits while entrusting Him with the results?
From a Christian perspective, we were created to worship and glorify God, serve others, and point people to Christ. Yet we live in a broken world tainted by sin, and because of this, even our desires are not immune to corruption. One way to discern the state of our hearts is to examine our motives. Are we seeking God's glory, or are we merely advancing our own ambitions?
Unchecked desires can eventually become obsessions. What begins as longing can turn into the lust of the eyes and the pride of life. It occupies our minds, fills our lips, directs our hands, and ultimately becomes our god, the very thing that dictates our lives at the expense of our souls.
"For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world, and forfeit his soul? For what will a man give in exchange for his soul?"
— Mark 8:36-37
In my wrestling moments with the Lord, I have found myself weeping like a child. I had exhausted every ounce of strength trying to manufacture the outcomes I wanted and force life into the shape I had envisioned.
"Lord, I am tired of chasing. I am tired of striving. Are these desires truly from You? Am I obeying Your voice, or am I simply obeying my flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life?"
Surrender slowly permeates the deepest fibers of our being. It reveals where the soul has spent years chasing and striving instead of abiding in contentment, consistency, and the patient stillness required to trust God's appointed timing.
We know we are striving when restlessness replaces peace, when anxiety fills the mind, and when constant activity leaves no room for order. In our attempts to control, chaos quietly takes root and begins to dominate.
I know this struggle well. I have wrestled with the tension between control and surrender, only to find God gently and consistently drawing me back to the same invitation, to lay down my striving and simply rest at His feet. I am reminded that His presence is not something to be attained, but a gift to be received.
Surrender leads us to seek Him more, while obsession often invites us to cling more tightly to ourselves and our selfish ambitions. Surrender is not passivity; it is moving forward without the need to control, manipulate, or orchestrate every outcome. It is confidence in the sovereignty of God and trust that He is faithful to His promises.
Surrender teaches us to obey God with a cheerful heart. To rest at the feet of Christ is easier said than done, but when every option has been exhausted and we have wrung out every remaining drop of our own strength, we come to realize that the battle ultimately belongs to Him. Too often, we try to assume a role that was never ours to begin with.
As someone who struggles with overthinking and overanalyzing, my prayers have begun to change as I approach the end of my twenties. I simply want to enter a new season carrying the lessons I've learned with a heart fully surrendered to Christ.
If my formative years and twenties were marked by people-pleasing, striving to fit in, seeking acceptance, and performing for approval, then I have reached my boiling point. I find myself telling God:
"Enough of the striving and chasing. My soul is tired, O God. I want to live this life pursuing what You desire for me, so that I may faithfully steward, multiply, and protect the peace You have given me in Christ Jesus."
There is freedom in letting go of obsession and allowing surrender to lead you to the doors God invites you to ask, seek, and knock upon. The desires within our hearts are not accidents. God has wired us with the power to choose and has gifted us with abilities and resources to steward those desires. Yet, we must continually humble ourselves and pause long enough to ask whether we have truly discovered our deepest "why."
Surrender leads us to live day by day. Obsession leads to manipulating outcomes. When was the last time you paused and asked yourself whether you are fully present in the season God has placed you in?
As I enter my 30s this August 15, I am deeply grateful to have been awakened to this truth: through surrender, I have come to appreciate more where I am and where I am headed. And perhaps the best part is knowing deep in my heart that I can genuinely rejoice and celebrate the harvest seasons of others. When we navigate life with contentment and faithfulness in our own season, envy and covetousness lose their grip on the heart, for we understand that every harvest comes after seasons of pruning and plowing; seasons that we, too, must faithfully walk through. In the end, it is not merely what we achieve, but who we are becoming that matters most.
Perhaps through surrender, we begin to hear Christ's invitation more clearly, to come and rest at His feet. The door remains wide open for us to ask, seek, and knock. Fruitfulness and faithfulness are not found in striving or obsession, but in Jesus Himself as we abide in Him.
"Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing."
— John 15:4–5
Have you sat quietly with your heart and asked whether what you are pursuing aligns with who God created you to be?
Are you still obsessing and striving, or are you truly surrendered?
Sealing this with love,
FROI
#DoulosDos
