One of Scripture’s descriptions of Jesus is as a Consuming Fire (Hebrews 12:29). When I think of fire, I am reminded of Moses and Elijah.
In the burning bush, Moses encountered God, who revealed Himself to His servant and commissioned him to redeem His people. What I deeply resonate with in Moses’ story is how his years in Midian transformed his heart. After 40 years as a prince of Egypt, God brought him into a season where he learned that his true dependence did not come from power or prestige, but from experiencing God’s presence and power through obedience and surrender.
Elijah’s story speaks deeply to me as well. He boldly declared that God alone is the Living God and witnessed His power when God answered with fire, consuming the sacrifice before the prophets of Baal. Later, Elijah was taken up to heaven in a chariot of fire without experiencing physical death, while Elisha asked for a double portion before God took him home.
As I revisit these stories, I find a deeper appreciation for what it means to serve a God who is a Consuming Fire.
I’ve been given the privilege of shepherding God’s flock since 2022 through Discipleship Group (DGroup). This was our first onsite meeting (September 15) with my downlines (incomplete) after three months and what a blessing it was to be together again! 😎
"It has been two weeks since I last updated this blog because I knew I was still recalibrating from a dry season. I didn’t want to rush into writing just to have something to say. I needed time to process what God had been revealing in my heart, to sit with it, wrestle with it, and allow Him to make sense of what I had just walked through."
It has been three months (from June to August) a quarter in which my faith has been tested to its deepest core. It felt like 2020 all over again, but in a different version of it.
After the mountaintop, God brought me into the valley. I began to understand why this season felt so dry. Every day, I felt like ashes being burned again and again, refined until there was almost nothing left.
The past three months were marked by drought in business sales. This season has been deeply humbling as I encountered different waves of doubt and unbelief. I questioned why nothing seemed to be moving despite showing up every day; praying, spending quiet time with God, meditating on Scripture, journaling, and taking small but intentional steps in my daily routine.
I eventually reached a boiling point. For the first time, I found myself angry with God, telling Him all my frustrations, disappointments, and discouragement. I questioned why He had brought me this far, yet somehow I still felt like I was hanging by a thread.
Bills and financial responsibilities were catching up with me. As I reflected, I realized I had been here before, moments of rock bottom that perhaps resembled my own Midian and Mount Horeb moments, much like Moses and Elijah had theirs.
The dryness was real. As I continued to pray and seek Jesus, I felt the thirst and exhaustion of my soul, trying my best to show up despite my circumstances.
But the season also became an eye-opener. God manifested Himself more gently and more presently in the moments when I thought He had abandoned me. My eyes were opened to a deeper encounter with His presence, much like the burning bush, where God allowed me to realize that His presence is enough.
And that realization shifted my questions.
Instead of only asking God, “Why?” I began asking myself:
Am I truly satisfied in Jesus?
Where do I truly anchor my faith?
Do I truly walk by faith?
Do I truly surrender my grip on my plans to Jesus?
Am I still the captain of my ship?
The season of dryness reminded me what my “ship” must be laser-focused on. It shifted my perspective from ownership to stewardship.
No amount of strategy, marketing gimmicks, sales, or simply “being on fire” can replace what it means to be a faithful steward. I realized that there was still a remnant of an “owner” mindset in me, a part of me that wanted to dictate the navigation and trajectory of my own life, whether in faith, fitness, or fashion.
I have come to appreciate stewardship more now. Rather than seeing myself as the one who owns and dictates the direction of my life, I am learning to see everything as something entrusted to me by God.
That stewardship also made me reflect on the kind of relationship I truly have with Him.
The season of dryness revealed more of what was in my heart, the temporary and fleeting securities I had been clinging to. It also showed me that my faith is real, because this was an area where I experienced deep spiritual attack.
The emotions were real.
The dryness was real.
The drought was real.
But so was my faith.
This does not mean I was ungrateful for the small things. Rather, it was a season where God exposed what needed to be burned away in my heart. I realized that I must continually bring my heart’s desires, dreams, disappointments, and discouragements to His feet, to die to self, allowing Him to refine, examine, and transform me.
The greatest blessing I have come to appreciate in that season of dryness was His presence, even when the feelings faded.
He is faithful even when we are faithless (2 Timothy 2:13).
With my Dgroup Upline (Incomplete). It’s a blessing to have both Upline and Downline groups where we share the same faith but come from different backgrounds, where I get to be sharpened and sharpen others too. Not perfect, but by God’s grace, transformative. And funny enough, this was a meeting (September 17) I had a strong temptation not to attend, but I chose to show up despite the pull of temptation. LOL! 😂
As a new season has unfolded, I am more in awe of how Jesus works in my heart. I have come to appreciate His pruning and discipline of me as His son. I have also come to see that my love and faith for Him are real, not because I always felt strong, but because even when I questioned Him and wondered why He allowed the drought and dryness to happen, I still found myself constantly on my knees, praying and pleading for His rescue and presence.
Scripture also describes Jesus as the Living Water.
Having encountered Him as the Consuming Fire, I have come to understand more deeply how He also quenches the soul’s thirst and satisfies what nothing else can satisfy.
I choose to remain grateful, no matter what season He brings me into, because I know His presence will never fail me regardless of what I feel.
I am deeply grateful that He allowed me to encounter metanoia in that season, a transformation of the heart. Only He can truly transform the heart.
“We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.”
Romans 5:3–5 (NASB)
I hold deeply to these words from the Apostle Paul alongside these words from Moses:
"The Lord replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest. Then Moses said to him, “If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here."
Exodus 33:14-15 (NIV)
As I continue to reflect on what I need to improve and change in this season, I am reminded to keep showing up regardless of what it looks like, whether it is messy, uncertain, or completely unknown.
To keep moving forward.
By Faith.
Sealing this with love,
FROI
#DoulosDos
